Take Ownership of Your Year
In a recent post we discussed the subtle message of passivity that can be absorbed after a lifetime in church. Even as one untangles oneself from the old theology there can still be a sense of powerlessness. How the day or the week goes largely remains up to chance.
There are many skills and exercises we can learn to change this. We can learn to take responsibility for our lives, which then gives us ownership of our lives. And soon we begin to see improvements in our days, our weeks, and especially our years.
Today I’ll share a brief exercise to help you take ownership of the next 12 months and create the 2023 you want. I’m hoping the 2023 you create will be exactly what you want it to be, but that will be up to you.
There are a few variations of this exercise and I curated the following list of questions based on contributions from Shane Parrish, Tim Ferriss, and Sahil Bloom. (I regularly learn something cool from each of these guys.)
The Exercise
Set aside a few hours at a favorite coffee shop or someplace special where you can think, write, and escape your day-to-day routines. You can do this by yourself or with your partner if applicable.
Ask yourself each of the following questions, one-by-one. After each question take five to ten minutes to think and write down your responses. If you are with your partner you can discuss each other’s answers before moving to the next question. The goal is to use the lessons from the previous year to make the most of the upcoming year.
Here we go…
-What did I change my mind about last year?
-Who/What/Where were the 20% of people/events/places/experiences that created 80% of my joy last year? And how can I/we do more of this in the year ahead? Basically who do you want to spend more time with in the next 12 months? What experiences would you like to enjoy more of? How can you expand these things?
-Who/What/Where were the 20% of people/events/places/experiences that created 80% of my negative feelings/experiences last year? And how can I/we experience less of this in the year ahead? Our greatest happiness often comes from removing a negative, not from adding another positive. The idea here is to determine who to spend less time with in the year ahead. What are some recurring negative experiences you need to solve/remove from your life for good? I recall one of my answers a few years back was the obligation I felt to continue to go to a church that was a source of much negativity in my life. And so I cut it out and have never been happier.
-How can I best use $XX to remove a negative? To create daily joy? (Reminder that the greatest happiness comes from removing a negative, not adding another positive.) Sometimes a small investment can have a big impact, as long as we’re thoughtful about it.
-What would my 50 y/o self ask me to do? (adjust as age appropriate)
-What would my 80 y/o self ask me to do?
(If you have small children the following two questions may also be helpful)
-What would 20 y/o (insert child’s name) tell me/us to focus on?
-What would 35 y/o (insert child’s name) tell me/us to focus on?
-What can I do in the next week that will make the whole year easier/better?
-Where am I waiting for someone else to make the first move? And how can I go first?
That’s it. Read the questions. Write down your answers.
In no time you’ll see a better year ahead forming before your eyes. Keep your output in a place where you can review it often. And stay flexible. Nothing is in stone. You can adjust as needed.
While it may seem simple, there’s something magical about setting very specific intentions for the year ahead. What to add. What to remove. You’re in control.
This is how you’ll begin to own your 2023.
I’ll be using this exercise over the next few days to create the 2023 I want. I hope you might do the same.
Great questions! Looking forward to talking it through with my husband.